It happened July 1st of the year. That's the day that I woke up to find the streets infested with California zombie robot drivers. It says if they crawled out of their graves that morning and shuffled into their cars to wreak havoc on the highways. July 1st of this year was the day that hands-free driving became mandatory in the state of California and it is as if the people took that phrase literally.
All drivers are now required to wear headsets or use another hands-free device in the car while driving. But for me, all I saw was a sea of mind controlled zombie robot drivers listening to the little voices in their heads. The ear piece looks like some cyber growth eerily blinking on the side of their heads.
During that morning's drive to work, I wish with all my might that I had a monster truck so that I could crush the idiot in front of me. This cell phone zealot was driving in some twilight zone sing song rhythm. When the little voices in his head told him to speed up, he would accelerate like a jack rabbit and when the little voices said slow down he would crawl slower than a turtle. This type of behavior has given the phrase "defensive driving" a new meaning. If you thought Californian drivers were bad before, stay out of this state now.
To survive this new menace you will have two drive defensively constantly. Anti-locking brakes are no longer an option. Also, give serious consideration to safety the next time your teenage kid asked for the keys.
Combined this blinking silicone growth with a GPS system and you have 1 million ticking time-bombs driving on the roads of California. We all know that the Governator is an android, it's just that we never thought he would turn the rest of us into one. Skynet is online in California.